oopsies

www.takenbytrees.com

sowwy

social investing?

just a quick post while i'm deliberately being late to class

first-
i got called out in class on wednesday for being a proponent of social investing. my portfolio management prof said that as a hedge fund, you get paid to make money. green investing or socially conscious investing may make you feel good- but it doesn't make enough money.

i've looked at returns for some green hedge funds and they've been relatively successful, even with the way the markets have been as of late. sure, they aren't making as much as some of the high profile funds, but when the dollar amounts get to a certain point i don't think that it makes a huge difference. so basically she said that we should throw out all of our convictions when it comes to investing- simply buy what will have the largest return.

i completely disagree. isn't there a point where the amount of money you're making becomes moot because of the state of the world that you're rich in? i can't imagine being happy with a billion dollars knowing that the companies that are making my returns enormous are also depleting my ozone. or are sustained by unfair trade. dlfkjghlkghs. maybe i'm just too concerned with things other than my own material wealth. according to donnell i definitely am.

anyway- i was pissed. still am. want to have a long conversation with someone about it.

in other news- you should listen to taken by trees ::www.takenbytrees.net::. she sings on young folks with peter bjorn & john. very unique voice, and the last song on the site is perfect.

sorry no linkage- campus computers are the shit. literally.

newmuse

hi-
so i've been hanging out down the street a lot lately.
mostly with the cat- because he is the best.

anyway-
upon hanging out down there, i've learned of a band worth listening to a lot.
delta spirit.
check out their myspace- the band description is great!

listen. its good.

i've also been listening to a lot of apostle of hustle.
but that's really nothing new.

ok bye.

so i woke up

with all my clothes on- shoes included- under my down comforter with my keys in my hand. really becca?

these last days of college are really killing me.
good thing i'm partying in the hood so no driving is involved.

baby its cold outside

drove into LA today. cold as hell. i guess i better get ready for dallas. cold as hell there too.

in other news-
i accepted with protiviti yesterday. that means i'm employed. yay!

and that also means that i'm starting to feel sappy EVERY time i'm with my friends or doing something typical of college. like partying til 6am. drinking sparks to stay awake. going to spec's at 6pm. lovvveeeee my friends.

except i wish i would have met some of them before this summer/semester. they're the greatest.

right now i'm at feefoy's. stealing internet from her neighbors. chatting on aim for the first time in a LONG time. wanting to be hanging in ruston. at least she had an amazing shrimp delight salad with some wine waiting on me when i got here. can always count on the louisiana fam to make sure i'm well fed and liquored. even when she's 85. ah well.

here are some songs that i have to listen to every day:
feist- intuition
brokensocialscene- lovers spit
page france- grass

loveyou.

they say timing is everything

but what if you don't have time?

oh my.

last night was craaazzzzzzzzy.
but the most fun.
shoot.

now there is much work to be done.
i just hope that there is something to look forward to?

just tell me what to do

nevermind. my friend trent is right. i feel a lot calmer now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i'm getting cold feet. but i really don't want to work for chevron.

fldshugdlfkghjdf.

maybe i'll just take protiviti?
or email e&y today.
or maybe i will just move to salt lake like zac suggested.
that'd be fun.

this.is.so.stressful.

!$##%#!#@!@#$#!

so i have an offer with protiviti. what relief!
still going to wait a bit on ernst&young.
we'll seeeeeeee.

a little poetry

i don’t know how long
i can do this, he said.
i think the universe
has different plans
for me

& we sat there in silence

& i thought to myself
that this is the thing
we all come to
& this is the thing
we all fight
& if we are lucky
enough to lose,
our lives
become beautiful
with mystery
again

& i sat there silent
because that is not
something
that can be said.
–brian andreas, traveling light


i really like this poem. speaks a lot of the things i'm feeling right now. i can't decide if i think its about death or renewal. for me right now- its about renewal. leaving things that i've known for things that i don't know. losing things that i wanted to keep. and living with it. this is a little too introspective for a blog, maybe, but vocalizing these thoughts helps me realize them. i'm starting to feel like my old self again, and just in time to get out of town. i'm scared as hell of what's ahead of me, but i can't wait for it to start. i just hope that something works out soon.

in other news- talked to a dear friend today about another person who isn't really in my life anymore, and realized that the latter it not nice at all. unfortunate, i think, because i held such a high opinion of this person for a long time. actually continued to even after they left my life. but now i'm starting to see the things my dear friend saw all along. said friend thought about telling me initially, but, in his words he didn't want to be a "huge asshole" and preferred us remaining friends until i figured it out myself. luckily i did- perhaps a little late, but definitely worth it. i have a lot of great things coming up. things that probably wouldn't be happening if i were still in the situation i was in earlier this year.

now, i'm done with school until finals. going to hang out with carpool a bit tonight and hopefully some more close friends. and for those friends that aren't here, maybe i'll call them. and maybe i'll ichat with my liz! today was a very hungover day full of a lot of realization. funny how feeling like shit makes things so real. ah and i was going to end this blog- but i think i need to post the hilarious friend time that was last night.

so, today i had a test and a group presentation- my last day of work for the semester until finals. so last night i should have been biting the bullet and busting my ass to learn some portfolio management and researching REITS. i, however, decided to take the road less travelled by. and that really made all the difference. so i went to dinner with the girls from work at caffe capri. this has become somewhat of a ritual and is one of my favorite friend times lately. so we decided on cenare's last night- our boss's mother's restaurant. we got wine with dinner, which would have been fine. one glass of wine would have chilled me out enough to get some great studying done. the problems started when mrs. cerone brought us another glass, as a gift i guess? at this point, my judgment began to slip and we decided to walk across the street to terrazzo- another cerone family business. after ANOTHER glass of wine, we decided that we should go to northgate. all of that to say i went out and got ripped instead of studying and preparing for my test and presentation. good thinking. i woke up to be at work at 8 the most hungover i have ever felt. and without studying. needless to say today was brutal- so glad its over. good thing i don't care too much about my grades anymore.

<3

so many ways

so- got to see the mates unexpectedly on saturday night.
it was GREAT!

here are some of my favorite pictures from the evening:







i do love them. wish i was kori.
it definitely helped to get me motivated. i realized today that after the craziness that will be this week i am done until finals. and then i graduate. and move.

and get PAID!

well if i get a job- which should hopefully happen this week. an offer at least.

i'm a little cracked out right now. been working on corporate governance paper since 4pm. it is now 1am. wide awake. i am going to post some of my favorite photos from this summer in my next post. just some memories- maybe to help me forget?